The Romance Confession

 

It's my turn. 

I took a deep breath, exhaled and then got up from my seat. 

I cleared my throat, kept my eyes on the far wall and said in a loud voice. 

"Hi, I'm Ren Thompson and I have a problem writing romance."

The rest of my imaginary group greets me in the same, monotonous tone.

"Hi Ren."

I nod and sit back down.

There, I said it. 
I love to read historical, sci/fi, contemporary, any kind of romance but for me to write it? I'm having a bit of trouble. I don't know what it is but I'm having the hardest time trying to put the internal motion picture that I'm seeing down on paper. You know what I mean. When writing, you have the whole thing playing out in your mind, right down to who is starring in it. I just can't get it out there the way I want to. And don't even get me started about erotica. That's like trying to compete in a triathlon a few minutes after pigging out at a buffet. It ain't happening.

Fabio had it going on back in the day...

I belong to a writers group, where about 80% of them are published. 
The main theme is romance and erotica. I do admit to being a bit intimidated because of it. I mean, the stuff they write is hot enough to singe off your eyebrows but I know its because of the talent that has been nurtured there. I post my feeble offerings and get my feedback. A couple of times I've had to lick my wounds, other times I go back to the drawing board and start again. I know its done with the thought and care that I develop as a writer.

One of my writer friends told me that I tend to freeze up when it comes to the romantic interaction between the characters. I thought I was writing a great build-up to "It" but nope. It didn't flow true. At first, I was a little upset but I had to step back and take a good long look at the way I write. 
And she's quite correct in her assessment.

Romance and I are having issues.

I like dark fiction. I like the horror, the twist, the sinister vibe, the intensity, the whole "OMG" aspect of it. The thought of creating that kind of reaction is almost like a thrill for me. I haven't quite figured out how to go deeper without coming across like a psychopath but I know its there...lurking just beneath the surface.

 

I would rather describe the crunch of bones snapping than the plump fullness of a trembling breast. The taint of sour desperation is more appealing to write than the warm, spicy scent of manly flesh. Ripping off a bodice reads better coming from someone else other than me. I realize this now and in a way that sucks. Its something that I have to work on. 

My mother told me, more than once, that I have a warped imagination. I take that as a compliment, lol. Being called "deliciously sick" gives me the warm fuzzies as well. Am I crazy?

My friend suggested that maybe romance wasn't my genre to write, that I'm supposed to hone my skills on the dark side. How can this be? I thought about the little bit of "romance" that I've written on here and it does tend to have a heavier flavor to it. 

Its not all about happily ever after, at least not in the traditional sense.


She said: "Look at Stephen King. He's awesome at writing the macabre."
I retorted with: "He's Stephen King. He's SUPPOSED to write the macabre."
She said: "You're Ren Thompson. Maybe you're SUPPOSED to write the macabre, too."
I couldn't get my foot out of my mouth after that one.

One of my favorites

Now that I think about it, maybe I'm just stressing too much. I'm going to forgive myself since I'm still in a learning curve with this whole romance writing thing. I don't like the idea of not giving it the old college try. I believe in the Romance genre even though not many people do. Regardless of their perception, its a welcome relief from the day to day grind (no pun intended) of daily life. 
I want to be able to create that illusion for readers. 
I know I'm going to continue to keep getting my teeth kicked in over at my critique group but that's okay. 

Its all about becoming a better at the craft.